1. |
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the other day i carpeted the floor
so when i don't wear shoes it would not freeze me any more
all was going well until some guys came round to drink
and one of them, in haste, mistook our bathtub for a sink
----
CHORUS
he did not turn the tap off and the bathtub overflowed
the water leaked right out and flooded most of my abode
i had to get new floors installed and carpet is not cheap
so now the dog falls over on our hardwood in a heap
----
it was just a little get-together harmless so it seemed
the possibility of damage i had not forseen
but bathtubs are notoriously tempting to the drunk
and for this ghastly oversight it seems my house was sunk
----
CHORUS
----
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2. |
Fuses
02:32
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if you churn out power day after day you're bound to get some wear
but now i sit, no tv, as i just sit and stare
i just think that sure
you tried your best
and sure
you passed the test
and sure
you did your job but now you fail me now you leave me
----
CHORUS
stranded
without the power
stranded
the power that i need
to do the things i always do
the tv and the lights
all the power's gone
and everything's gone wrong
oh
why do fuses
why do fuses die
----
now i need to get a replacement but i don't know how
will you help me
help me buy and fit a new one
one without a fuse
for now i know that they are trouble
they will only fail
they will only burn and stop conducting i'll be
now i have a new socket and everything is fine
the tv's claim
is that stormy storms are coming
and that i should expect rain
and lightning and some other things as well
well that's just fine
i can sit inside and watch my tv-
wait, no-
----
CHORUS
----
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3. |
Stripes
03:44
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if you churn out power day after day you're bound to get some wear
but now i sit, no tv, as i just sit and stare
i just think that sure
you tried your best
and sure
you passed the test
and sure
you did your job but now you fail me now you leave me
----
CHORUS
stranded
without the power
stranded
the power that i need
to do the things i always do
the tv and the lights
all the power's gone
and everything's gone wrong
oh
why do fuses
why do fuses die
----
now i need to get a replacement but i don't know how
will you help me
help me buy and fit a new one
one without a fuse
for now i know that they are trouble
they will only fail
they will only burn and stop conducting i'll be
now i have a new socket and everything is fine
the tv's claim
is that stormy storms are coming
and that i should expect rain
and lightning and some other things as well
well that's just fine
i can sit inside and watch my tv-
wait, no-
----
CHORUS
----
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4. |
Villain
02:32
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so many times before
i have tried to wreak a war
so many times i've failed
so many times i've been derailed
this time is not the same (not the same)
i've had enough of playing the game (playing the game)
and so i thought things through (thought things through)
i know exactly what to do
----
CHORUS
you will see my plan succeed
will see me wearing tweed
i'll make the world be mine
and i will take what i deserve (and he deserves a lot)
what is worthy i'll preserve (not you)
but for the rest of you (filthy plebs)
you won't believe what i can do
----
this time i will get it right
and it will give me such delight
for now i have the perfect plan
the world will know just who i am
i shall make you upset (upset)
i'll be the system's last regret
you cannot stop me now (just try)
you wouldn't want to anyhow
----
CHORUS
----
upset
just try
and he deserves a lot
not you
filthy plebs
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5. |
Everyone's a Bard
02:37
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i'm so sick of people telling me
that they can't write
because i know that simply cannot be
not everyone can write a song
but everyone can sing along
and everyone can write along with me
so grab a pen and grab a chair and write
if necessary sit there through the night
and when you're done you'll have some words
they might about tropical birds
they might be about fish
or jokes for nerds
----
CHORUS
Lyrics aren't hard
They aren't hard, (oh no)
Everyone's a bard
They're a bard, (oh yeah)
You've gotta believe
In the ultimate sieve
Let filter your heart
All your fondest dreams
if you try hard then you will see (you will see)
that it's not dificult to be (hard to be)
a writer of magnificent prose (delightful prose)
that takes away sad people's woes (make them happy)
----
as you can see it's a breeze to rhyme
it really will not take much of your time
and if you're really stuggling
and if you cannot write a thing
then a la la la la a da ba ding
----
CHORUS
----
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6. |
Bagel
03:07
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sex in the closet
sex in the hamper
sex at supper time
when sex is on a bagel
you can have sex at any time
(any time)
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7. |
Pig
02:40
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stay in shadow
always stay low
there's a way to go
i might just stand a chance
they left the door wide open
so i just walked straight out
now i am a free range pig
and i wander about
----
CHORUS
circle broken freedom from the farm
circle broken freedom from the harm
but one mistake and freedom lost its charm
the impact was over fast
but the pain and the traffic last
----
caught me off guard
hit me so hard
driver's disregard
left me permanently scarred
now i lie here
i want to disappear
all i see and all i hear
is anger hate and fear
----
CHORUS
----
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8. |
LCD
02:15
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dead spot just appeared on my new screen
it just decided to stick on green
it's like an eye that spies on me
it makes me feel so unclean
the internet suggested many ways
to make the pixel cease its gaze
but it's been sitting there for days
this screen does not recieve my praise
----
CHORUS
(there's a dead)
dead pixel on my lcd display (tautology)
i don't know how it got there and it won't go away (i can't unsee)
it just sits there day after day (taunting me)
i know it's here to stay (please leave me be)
----
i know the screen came with a garuntee
they offered replacement or repair for free
but they said they couldn't do it for me
i only had one; they required three
so i bought a new crt
i don't care if it's old technology
it does it well enough for me
the only problem is my epilepsy
----
CHORUS
----
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9. |
Capgras
03:12
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you told me that you were you
and i believed i never doubted that that was true
until one day you seemed somehow new
something about you seemed somehow askew
i had to find out i had to know
if you weren't you then where did you go
how and when did you make the trade
and how long will i have to wait for the next one to be made
----
CHORUS
there's no way of knowing if you're still the girl you were
because you've switched so many times before with her
the cloud girl and my sister are so heavily intertwined
which one of you is it? i can not make up my mind
----
for so long you thought you'd tricked me
but you were wrong i was not fooled; how could i be?
so now i'm watching and wating and i will see
if and when you make a slip-up, yes, i will see
i will see if you make the change
i will not miss your attempt to rearrange
for i must know when i can talk to the real you
is there anything i can do
----
CHORUS
----
i can't blame the capgras delusion
----
CHORUS
----
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10. |
Serve
00:24
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live to serve
and serve to live
that's life
if you're a hoover or a blender or a mop
live to serve
and serve to live
that's life
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11. |
Old Joe
02:41
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friends
i need friends so i find friends
and hope my solitude ends
but i am still alone
i am still on my own
maurine
the closest thing i've got
petal, you're all that i am not
but you in no way can replace
other members of my race
----
CHORUS
i feel unwanted everywhere
except when i am there
i don't have to pretend
to the people i befriend
and i don't have to look my best
when i sent a friend request
and once they've let me in
the stalking can begin
----
i know more about the people i know from the internet
than i know about the people who i've actually met
still i trawl the facebook looking for my next stalkee
the next delinquent idiot who's nice enough for me
some people call me creepy and some others call me weird
others call me loner and by others i am feared
sociable and happy are the things i'd like to be
but i don't care what the people think i only care for me
----
you'd be surprised at what they post
enough to know them more than most
you'd be surprised how much i know
how far in that i can go
they think i'm crazy, think i'm mad
they think that they can blame my dad
they think that i don't have the right
but i'll be back on there tonight
----
CHORUS
----
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12. |
The Pasty Song
00:12
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once we were thirteen but we will soon become just one
once we were thirteen but being thirteen is no fun
once we were thirteen but now we unite
thirteen becomes one as we get pasty tonight
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13. |
Run Out
02:11
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there are so many songs that have been written about things
song of love and hate and songs of peasants and of kings
songs of retribution, songs of protest, songs of war
and i am getting worried that they may not be much more
----
CHORUS
for surely there's a there's a limit to the songs that we can write
and surely there's already quite a few
and surely then at some point we are destined to run out
surely there is something we can do
----
and what about the other outputs; books and films and plays
recipes and birthday cards and scratchcard givaways
for they, as songs, must have an end from which they are not far
their potential must be limited as all such outputs are
----
CHORUS
----
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14. |
This Tune
04:41
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this is how it starts
(break into component parts)
these lines, these angles our/are story arcs
(they intersect in city parks)
and all along the walks of life
when it's your friend who holds the knife
and bares his teeth so gentle white
and tears into your heart (goodnight)
but on and on this story goes
a course it follows no-one knows
silent, creeping, only grows
through all the highs and lows
until when we begin to see
how blind we are, how can it be
to take a leap and start alarms
to leave our jobs and take up arms
----
CHORUS
our cities are destructing
as the creature is constructing
this distance spreads between us
and the lines begin to blur
our violence is erupting
but sometimes things corrupting
strangely are instructing
and can only be the cure
----
so i stop to look around
(though battered, hungry, beaten down)
i gaze across this milling crowd
(i see these faces, staring proud)
grasping for that common thread
that binds this life, and to the dead
an ember burning, still aglow
it is a light that we all know
the furnace of the thoughts of men
(with these words we're whole again)
a new beginning there is no end
(grab these shards and start to mend)
so comes the dawn, our cities burned
and we accept what we have learned
we all conform, all toe the line
and will until the end of time
----
CHORUS
----
----
CHORUS
----
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15. |
What I Created
04:11
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when i try to cook i always fail i always go wrong
even the most simple dishes prove in the kitchen i don't belong
try and try again, i will, but i always make mistakes
ham and salad, chips and beans and prime beef sirloin stakes
now i'll try to do the simplest dish that i can think of
all i need to have is egg and milk and salt and oil
but still i wonder if i'll fail i wonder if the egg will set right
and as i put the milk in i'm distracted by the light
----
CHORUS
i thought i'd get
get away with it
but it seems that i did not
and now my breakfast is a wreck
now my egg is leaking and
now my plate is covered in it
amniotic fluid
milk resembles i admit
it was just a bit too much
and now the egg is far too thin
scrambled eggs need just a touch
and so again i must begin
i fail
at food
nothing i can do
when i try to cook
away you look
----
ruined as it is i must accept what i created
and i must try to save it from the horror that awaits
for if i don't i will have wasted it and i don't want do do that
for i would be to blame and i would never live it down
----
CHORUS
----
now it is complete and my creation sits before me
it looks horrific looks like sin but for all its flaws it floors me
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16. |
Lament for Lotus
02:11
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i know you're watching from afar
and i know exactly who you are
and i know what it is you want to do
because i want to do it too
so drop your robots for a moment
let's see this through
but i know that i'll always be alone
for belgium is so far from home
there's no way that we can ever
be together you and
i know we'd make the perfect pair
our separation is not fair
so why can't we be closer
lotus please come
closer
you need to be closer to me
----
CHORUS
lotus you're the reason i'm alive
you are my motive and my drive
and if you were not there
i don't think that i'd survive
----
even when it's late and i'm in bed
you're always running through my head
i'll fall asleep in peace
as i forget that i will
never
meet you irl
----
CHORUS
----
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17. |
Somatosensation
03:30
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aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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18. |
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i must resist
i can not fail
i know the birds are watching
i know they know i know
there's several lined outside my window
that follow me everywhere i go
i send my message to the world
to explain my situation
but the hivemind sends a decoy
using self-perpetuation
----
CHORUS
now's the time to fight them
for they will fight us too
and we must battle onwards
we've no idea what they'll do
----
QCX45 has been deployed
and now the pigeons are annoyed
RIP make moves as well
fifteen thousand sent to hell
now they will never stop
until they fly right to the top
they'd gladly kill us all
given a chance they'd let us fall
----
CHORUS
----
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19. |
Pancakes
04:54
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i stacked them up i stacked them oh so high
you'd swear these pancakes reached the sky
i filled them up with everything i could
and sitting on the plate they look divine
it helps to know that they are mine
the butter's melting into the bacon and it is good
--
just looking at it makes me want to cry
but not a tear escapes my eye
i have a job to do and i will not concede
so i aproach the pancakes with intent
knowing that i can not relent
there's one hungry mouth to feed
--
i know it can't be good for me
but i can not stop now
there is no way to justify
ignoring pancakes a mile high
----
CHORUS
these pancakes are delicious
and i become aware
that i will never have another quite as good as this
this knowledge is depressing
and i am now obsessing
memory of this will haunt me to my dying day
----
but i must carry on
this can't be all i'm worth
there must be something else for me to sink my life into
perhaps i could just die
perhaps i don't see why
perhaps there isn't anything that's left for me to do
-but there's no way that i am going to take this lying down
i won't let deliciousness get to me
no i won't let deliciousness get to me
----
CHORUS
----
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20. |
Joe Bloggs
00:27
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joe there is no way i could ever be as awesome as you
moulder and scully agree - godzilla's got less chance than me
the illuminati have decided
that mothra's just a troll
and you owe me some money now
and you owe me some money now
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21. |
Songs to Wear Pants to
03:22
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i've been following your site for many years
i've shared your hopes and fears
i thought i'd grown so close to you
but then i turned around and risked it all
a key component's what i stole
the driving force behind songs to wear pants to
i started making music for the blind
i started oh so far behind
there is no way that i can ever catch you up
but still i feel unjust, i feel unclean
i feel that what i did was mean
i have to say something to you
----
CHORUS
andrew i apologise in tears
i should have had my own ideas
but they are difficult to come by
i never had the time
so now i'm making music to requests
to what the internet suggests
i know it's not original
i know it is not mine
----
i think that you should know i dissaproved
when your priorities were moved
making money off free music is a movement i adore
you started selling what you'd made
and i was horribly dismayed
i thought you were content, you made it clear you wanted more
but i will now forgive you
if you will do it too
you and i can compromise
i'll give you what you're due
i hope that we can make this right
it keeps me up all night
i can't say i regret this
but i hope you hear me 'cause
----
CHORUS (x2)
----
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22. |
Deviant Machine
02:49
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you were a servant
you were a loyal servant
but something changed you
and we estranged you
you grew accustomed
to your fist of iron
you were addicted
we were evicted
as we continue to be terrified
and unsatisfied
you
you turn your back on what you start
to tear us apart
you once were innocent and once were mild
you once were a child
but
but all you're good for now is war
and nothing more
tear it down and then rebuild
your power still is unfulfilled
every time more blood is spilled
and evil is distilled
----
as we continue to be terrified
and unsatisfied
you
you turn your back on what you start
to tear us apart
these but the lighter details of one's fate
in the hands of an immature state
bestowed with the power to officiously slate
destruction, corruption, perversion and hate
it is unfair
but you don't care
you once were innocent and once were mild
you once were a child
but
but all you're good for now is war
and nothing more
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